My pastor said something Sunday that honestly I’ve never thought about and when I first heard him say it I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I would love your thoughts…
“If you are single, maybe you’re being too picky. Maybe you should put away some of those superficial traits you’re looking for and serve someone who might not fit your mold. Be someone’s blessing.”
Thoughts? Give me yours and then I’ll share my initial, gut reaction.
jasongordon.org 
17 responses to “To be a blessing…”
I agree and also disagree with this statement… If you are basing your choice on looks or being “perfect”… you will never find them. On the other hand, I’ve always been told not to “settle”… if you do not LOVE the person, will the marriage even last??
I think the premise was that we often don’t even consider certain people and of we would relax “our standards” we would be someones blessing. We might never know how we will feel about someone until we let them into our life. I do get your point however.
I guess my problem with this statement is that it starts with the presupposition that there’s something wrong with being single…
That’s my fault Zach…I failed to give you that context. This was aimed at people who are single & are looking to be in a relationship.
Stephanie – Congrats!
Being married, I didn’t catch that at first, but that is a GREAT point
I do get the point though… Many people would have never thought Joel and I would have been a good match. With Age difference, interests, and denominational differences,it really sounds like the worst relationship ever. LOL… But it works, I could have completely passed him by. Sometimes it starts as just trying to help someone spiritually, and it really does turn into love. We will be married 5 years this summer, that may not sound like a lot for some (and it doesn’t feel like much to me either) but it is a good stepping stone. I am more in love with him today than I was 5 years ago.
I don’t think I’m being too picky when it comes to the most important things to be picky about! If those are truly the traits you desire in a significant other- Heart sold out to Christ- then I don’t think that’s being picky… That’s being wise and following His commands. But if we’re talking the little petty stuff, then I agree. I have just yet to find a guy whose heart is fully sold out to Christ… And is single. Haha.
I think that it’s also hard for women bc we are called to be the pursued and not the pursuer… Which is hard enough in itself.
I think the foundation of this is laid in someone who believes in Christ, but there was some alluding to helping someone weaker than you…thoughts?
Ya, I think it’s a grey line for sure though. I suppose if it begins as a friendship and you help draw that person closer to Christ so you are equally yolked before it turns romantic, then sure! Haha.
I think the major issue was externals, like looks, jobs, possessions. But, there was definitely a small allusion to the spiritual side. Don’t get me wrong, I never thought my pastor was advocating relationships with non-believers. I just don’t think I’ve ever heard someone advocate singles be “less picky”.
If the two are both sold out to Christ… Then the rest, God can make “fall” into place! And I think you can be someones blessing without having the thought in the back of your head that you are relaxing your standards.. Maybe I am mixing this all up and just rambling… Haha!!
I think his point was, the more I think about was, we each have an ideal in our minds of who that other person is/will be. Included in that ideal is superficial things that maybe don’t belong there. The more I think about it, I think the “wrapped up with a big red bow” explanation is: “Maybe you should stop looking for your “trophy” wife/husband and be someone else’s.”
I get what you’re saying though and agree with that we shouldn’t be so picky on the “other” stuff!
Oh!! I like that a lot!!! Haha! Got it! =)
I don’t believe that being in a relationship with a non-believer is a sin… but you also need to know the risks of them bringing you down. It is harder to bring someone you love to Christ.
Wow, well, first of all, this is a refrain I’m tired of hearing in the church, which is that (sometimes not-so-silent) message that “being single is wrong”. Because maybe I’m single because God has asked that of me, rather than because I’m too picky.
My knee-jerk reaction to this is that he’s trotting out a line that every great-aunt I’ve ever met has used.
I do like the idea of being a blessing to your partner, but I hope he’s not saying we should compromise or marry the “wrong” person just to be a blessing to someone. That is, compromising for the sake of compromising–to be someone’s blessing–is just a recipe for failure.
I don’t know. I think I can sort of see what he was getting at, but that old “you’re too picky” gets an immediate defensive reaction from me, so I’m having a hard time getting beyond that. 😛