Welcome back to jasongordon[dot]org! It has been a long time since I strung together more than two posts. A lot of things have been happening in this little life of mine. I won’t go into that here, but it is good to be back. One thing I have learned in the past four or five months is that I do not have it all together. I am actually far from it. So, as I have been thinking and praying about what this blog could be and should be, I am more convinced than ever that it should be an online community that provides a safe place to throw questions up against the wall, seeking answers and maybe even more questions.
The more I evaluate my life (and we are definitely in full-on evaluation mode), the more I realize how much and how often I do this life under my own strength. I go long stretches on my own. I do ministry in my gifts and not on my knees. I was reminded today about what John the Baptist said in response to his followers feeling slighted by people going to Jesus to be baptized. John stopped what he was doing and looked at his followers and reminded them why they were there. In John 3:30, he said, “He must become greater and greater and I must become less and less.” And I spend so much time becoming more and more, doing more and more on my own. John knew the secret to God’s Kingdom coming to earth. Point to Christ. Prepare the way for Christ.
I want more of Him and less of me. I am exploring ways that I can move out of the center so that he can move in. What things are you participating in that has helped you in this area? BRING IT! Join in the discussion so that we all can grow and do what John wanted for his own life.
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8 responses to “Wanting More”
I totally get what you mean by moving out of the center to make room for Him. I have repeatedly had moments (gut wrenching moments) that have brought me literally to my knees giving over to Him.
I wrote a song recently that a couple of lines dovetail to what you are saying:
**************
I’m admitting mistakes and knowing that I’m not alone
I was a fool to think that I was ever (really) in control
By letting go of the things I’ve been holding back from You so long
I feel Your light shine through me righting what’s been wrong.
***************
I believe that God knows when we need to move over and He nudges us (or pushes us) to where we need to be. I can be pretty stubborn sometimes and forget my focus when things seem to be going well. I also feel the least connected to Him when things are going well…so the lesson repeats….
I hear you man. I also have been guilty of trying to become more when the goal of life is to become less.
Jason – what you have written sounds so familiar to me. I am not bragging, believe me – but I accomplished so much on my own, and it was all pretty good. Then it came all apart and that was all me, too. What I want now is excellence that I can only have when I follow Christ. It’s a struggle for me every day to give everything up. I’m pushy, opinionated, mostly always right, and I always have a plan. And I have discovered that in the Christian life none of that is good. People were following me and not Christ, and I was following myself, and I was wrong. God taught me a great lesson and it hurt a lot. I miss where I was, and wish I could go back and kick myself in the rear end so that it would have turned out different. But I need to give that up, too and simply serve him. I am still working toward that. Very carefully so that I don’t make the same mistakes. They were big mistakes, so I am taking my time, and maybe that’s a mistake too. I just don’t want to hurt a bunch of people and my family again. So thanks for bringing some of this up. It reminds me that I am nothing on my own. I need to paint that on the ceiling and print it out and staple it to the door and make it into a background for my phone and have it tattooed on my arm.
Give up EVERYTHING… Like you, me, and most, I was forced to give up the things that I felt were “valuable.” Since losing my house, my husband and I have been giving things away and encouraging our children to do the same things. Katey and I go through her stuff every couple of months and bring things that she doesn’t play with anymore to the Salvation Army.
It’s amazing looking back to when we had our own place and remember thinking “we need more room…we need a newer vehicle… I need a better…” fill in the blank. Its not until I lost all of that and have been living without it for a year that I am now a happier person. You learn to rely on God instead of yourself.
@rich…
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I will be praying for you man.
CONTENTMENT….I struggle at times with this concept. It seems to be a simple idea, but remains to be a rare commodity these days! I WANT to learn to be content whatever the circumstances like the aspostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11. How does one learn this, practice this? I tend to take great pains to avoid this lesson of contentment. With the simple things I enjoy with my children, seeing their views as a child, definitely teaches me the natural joys God intended us to cherish. I find it is easy to get “caught up” with the hectiness and personal needs of my life and push aside the happiness God has placed right in front of me.
@Dena
Thanks for your thoughts. It is difficult to put those simple things in practice while the world around us is spinning a million miles an hour, isn’t it? Wow…
I feel like God has brought me to a whole new place this past year as well. Until recently, I was mostly concerned with my wants and meeting those wants. Not that I didn’t still put my kids fist, because I did. But then I would resent them for it, in a way. I wanted to have the family thing, but still have lots of free time for myself as well. Which I of course never got. So most of the time I felt unfulfilled. Then ironically enough, I started homeschooling this year, and I feel more fulfilled than ever. I spend my days focusing on how I can be the best mother and teacher, the best wife I can be. I don’t have time to focus on myself anymore. Finally, by putting God first and giving my all to glorifying Him, the other things I thought I valued are taking a back seat, and it’s okay. Whatever it is God has asked us to do, we need to do it remembering that it’s for Him. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says… whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.