Last week I decided to take a break from blogging, reading blogs and Twitter. I did this because I am struggling with all of this. I am struggling with bloggling and Twitter just like I was struggling with the lunchroom. The lunchroom was a place of disappointments and diminishing self-esteem. The lunchroom was a place where I never quite fit in, but I longed to. I always wanted to be at the “cool kids table.”
To some extent, I have blogged with one eye on the stats. I kick around titles to posts to try to draw more traffic to my site. A part of me is excited when the “ministry elite” follow me on Twitter. I check my Twitter Grader rank. As I sit here typing this out I feel like Jerry Maguire writing my manefesto for ministry social networking.
So this last week I came to a conclusion. I don’t need it. I don’t need your approval. I don’t need your comments on my posts. I don’t need you following me on Twitter. None of that determines my worth in His Kingdom. I don’t even determine my worth in His Kingdom. He determines that and it was determined long before I had a blog, a Twitter account, or even birth. If I have something to say that will benefit you or if we can start a dialogue on this blog or on Twitter that will lift us all up, I am for that. I would love that. But I will no longer do all of this to try to sit at your cool table. There are people going to hell while I am trying be cool. While I am giving into my selfishness and falling right into the trap that Satan has laid for me, people are dying without Christ.
Please don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about you, its about me. I have done this. You aren’t trying to lure me to your table, but I would suspect that there are many more of you just like me…struggling with all of this. I love blogs and Twitter for the connectivity and relationship potential. I just can no longer try to leverage it for selfish reasons.
I’m just saying.