The longer I am in ministry, the more I need safeguards to protect the most important relationships in my life. Lately I have read a lot on how, when, and why guys out there set up guidelines on themselves to protect their marriages. I have been thinking about the things I do to protect my wife from many things. So I am going to do a couple posts highlighting some of the things I do to protect Katie.
First, let me say that it was a process for me to grow up in my relationship with my wife. It took some time for me to understand that my choices didn’t just affect me anymore. Over time I have settled into a groove in how I protect myself and my wife in the choices I make in dealing with others of the opposite sex and other situations where I am aware that she worries.
1.) I NEVER ride alone in a vehicle with a member of the opposite sex who isn’t my wife, mother, or mother-in-law.
Why? Because it is just stupid. People see me out and about all the time. If I don’t do it, I don’t have to answer questions. Plus, I don’t leave myself vunerable to my darkside. I will get to that later in the week.
2. I never counsel women with my office door closed, offsite, or when there aren’t others in the building.
Doesn’t that make it inconvient for those needing counseling? Yes. Do I care, no. My ministry and marriage depend on it. If I have to schedule a counseling appointment after office hours, I ask my wife to come to the building with me.
3. I never eat a meal out by myself with a member of the opposite sex.
This just screams impropriety.
4. My wife has uncensored access to my laptop and email accounts.
The biggest reason for this is, my wife is my best judge of other women’s motives. She can best warn me of a “needy” female who might be latching on to me because I am a leader. Also, see dark side comment in #1.
5. I always have my cell phone on, with me, and try whenever possible, to answer Katie’s call.
I check in with my wife more than any other person. I try to let her know where I am, where I am heading and what I am doing so she always knows what is going on. This is the easiest thing I can do to protect myself and our relationship against lots of things. Many of you are probably thinking the worst here, don’t. My wife is a worrier. If she can’t get me on the phone, she frets over whether I am dead in a ditch somewhere. If she knows that I am getting my haircut and it has been two hours since she has heard from me, she worries that something is wrong. I can put her mind at ease if she knows my cell is charged, on, and that I will answer it whenever possible.
What are you doing to protect your most valuable relationships?
