Filed under small groups

New Eyes

Small groups are messy. It’s one thing for small group ministry leaders to know it and communicate, and yet another for the individual small group member to navigate it successfully.

People’s messy lives have the potential to bring conflict and frustration to a group if the leader doesn’t help keep the group focused on what Jesus said in Matthew 22…

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.” (MSG)

I believe that you can’t really love God without really loving your neighbor.  Sure, we can show God love without loving our neighbor, but we’re withholding something from God if we aren’t showing love to those God has placed in our paths.

In our small group loving God and loving our neighbor means seeing the people we do life with as Christ sees them.  Seeing with old eyes sees the single mom as a failed wife.  Seeing them with new, neighbor loving eyes, sees a hurting woman who struggles with what the future holds and offers love and hope.  Seeing with old eyes sees the small group member struggling with alcohol as someone who has weak self-control.  Seeing with new, Christ-like eyes, sees someone who is harboring lingering hurt.  Someone that could use a supportive friend.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer says it this way…

Human love constructs its own image of the other person, of what he is and what he should become.  It takes the life of the other person into its own hands.  Spiritual love recognizes the true image of the other person which he has received from Jesus Christ; the image that Jesus Christ himself embodied and would stamp upon all men.

I know in my own life, more times than I’d care to admit, I have seen someone and heard their story only to come up with a list of reasons they are in the situation they are in.  I want to get to the place where I consistently look into the eyes of my neighbors and see the hurt and brokeness they’ve experienced and help them recapture the the image of God in which they’ve been created with.

What are some ways you’ve experienced real spiritual love from your small group?

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What a Mess

In my beginning days in small group ministry, a ministry friend and Life Group Pastor at Real Life Church in Valencia, CA, Brandon Beard said to me words I will never forget.

He said, “Some day, after you’ve kicked off your small groups, someone will say, ‘Look at the mess you’ve made.’ And all you can do is look at them and say, ‘Yeah, isn’t it great?’

Community without messy isn’t authentic, Biblical community.

There is no way around it. Our lives are messy.  Our lives are filled with issues and baggage and pain.  As I mentioned yesterday, in order to really engage and create depth in our relationship with Christ we need purposeful, truth-telling words from friends.  The only way to get those words is through raw, burdens-laid-bare, authentic, messy community.

Bonhoeffer again has something to share on this topic…

Only that fellowship which faces disillusionment (he is speaking of giving up our lofty dreams of community that are perfect and without blemishes), with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God’s sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given it.  The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to an individual and to a community the better for both.  A community which cannot bear and cannot survive a crisis, which insists upon keeping its illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of Christian community. (Life Together, pg. 27)

Bonhoeffer’s words are straight to the point and may even be hard to hear.  If you are looking for  a community that is perfect, without blemish, that ties every loose end like a thirty minute 80′s sitcom, then Christian community isn’t for you.  Christian community is build on each person’s ability to get down in the muck with their brother or sister who is struggling and lift them up and give them hope.

True Christian community is a graceful, glorious mess. Isn’t it great?

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